Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize