He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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