he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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