I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
