We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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