I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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