garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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