THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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