Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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