Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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