Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize