This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.