normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween