Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
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If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.