did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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