the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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