Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
