I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Quick, to the slutcave!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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