The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i was born a porn star she said
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
