Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
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