Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
