Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
