I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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