What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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