Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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