Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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