Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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