btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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