Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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