Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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