Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
