He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I want a musical about memes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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