I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
