Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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