Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
