My room smells like vodka and shame
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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