That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
