and you said cock pushups were impossible
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
