I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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