He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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