she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
