she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
