Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize