I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
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He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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