I CAN MOONWALK!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
