My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize