Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
