This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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