It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize