One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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