This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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