My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You were trust falling into bushes
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
