the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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