I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
the liver wants what the liver wants
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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