You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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