What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
