Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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