Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
