marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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